Toga! Toga!

This has less to do with waiting, than it does with wild boozing, which has a lot to do with waiters.

Anyway, one of the dumbest things I ever did in high school was to throw a toga party at my house while my Mom and Dad were away and a friend fell down the stairs into our lobby and broke this mahogany hope chest. I attempted to fix it, and simultaneously crossed "finish carpentry" off my list of careers to consider.

It's Vagina Town Jake

I saw in the LA Times that Roman Polanski wants to come back to America after fleeing sentencing for the rape of a 13 year old girl in 1978. Let me be the first to tell Roman that the Poison Ivy has a patio table reserved for him and Jack Nicholson, with 3 gimlets ready and a couple of roofies, and if the Hannah Montana look a likes find him disgusting and mothbally, then he can slip one to one of the Oaxacan bussers and rape one of them if he wants.
--Blanche DuBois
Owner of the Poison Ivy

Beckham Shoots...He Gyps!!!!!!!!!!!

Beckham once tipped me at the Poison Ivy with a wad of cash, in handshake fashion. I was over joyed, only to find $30 in 1s and 5s! It was still 20% but come on! I had to work real hard! I had to compose myself around Victoria as she kept pitchin woo at me.

Words of Wisdom from Wolfgang

Hi!
It's been crazy this November, sorry for the lack of posts. I'll be up to speed asap.

Here's a good one from Wolfgang Puck, that would make Yogi Berra proud.

Upon seeing a group of idle waiters chatting, Wolfgang barks out, "I never want to see more than one waiter together at the same time!"